Kriti Mehta

Graduation, Employment and Anxiety: Go Hand-in-Hand

I remember the exact moment when I knew that it’s not going to be an easy journey anymore. It was our last exam, soon to be graduates. My friends and I went out to celebrate and I won’t lie but we had a couple of drinks. With the overflowing emotion of leaving behind the college life and parting ways with the family we’ve created outside our home, we all started sharing our future plans. That’s when I actually realized it; I was so busy thinking about what I wanted to do in my life that I never really focused on how I’m going to accomplish it. As the anxiety started hitting my nerves and I saw the glass of water on the table with no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little drops of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood, I grasped it with panic and started drinking the water whilst cleaning the little beads of water. Bit exaggerating huh? Kind of how ‘Monica’ from ‘friends’ would react. Well, a glass of beer can do that to you. That’s when I asked myself a question;

How do we really comprehend our future? I think in today’s generation everyone would concur to me that a fresher’s life seems never-ending. But being an employed person myself, I don’t see my life being “set” whatsoever. I find myself spinning in circles over and over again, and where do you turn when you’re spinning in circles? I don’t believe that it’s just me, right? I mean what is one supposed to do after graduation? Keep studying or find a job? I swear to you, I just blinked once and here I am, a 23 yr old girl trying make it big. Going through all the career counseling sessions again. Reliving the school days as to what I have to pursue in my career. It gets exhausting; growing up, in general, is arduous. Albeit there is a pro in all of this chaos, at least you find out the things you’re not capable of doing. Being disenchantment has been one of my traits, not to my family or friends, but rather to myself. A bit depressing, isn’t it? I can’t even explain half of it. The sudden change of becoming employable after graduation is a burden as well as an opportunity. It’s like jumping out of fiction into the real world. There is no one to guide you anymore; you have to decide your own destiny. I picture it as me being Sherlock Holmes in my life, putting all the puzzles together and my college life being John Watson to keep a check on me. But now I am accustomed to being with John Watson, what is Sherlock Holmes without John anyway? A crack head probably or a loose cannon as some would say. You feel lost and confused cause college was Bonnie and you were Clyde. It gave you all the knowledge you wanted but it never did prepare you for the farewell. Every day is another combat, and each time you think that you’re getting somewhere, you’re still probably running in circles. If only I could stay in the world of my fictional novels if only someone would always be there to save the day and give me my happy ending. But this isn’t fictional anymore, is it? This is some real stuff. It’s not thrilling, not a mystery or a tragic romance, it’s just the reality. There are no heroes or villains here. At times it seems so boring but at times it’s a real challenge. How ironic that as a child I always wanted to grow up and as the years pass by and every year another candle adds up to my birthday cake, I feel a little heartbroken. People might call me a sadist but sometimes I do get jealous of seeing some of my acquaintances with their lives all figured out.

I think we can all agree that by the narrative I just gave about my personality, it’s probably clear that I’ve probably embarrassed myself a LOT of times. It’s absurd how hard it gets to decide what you want in your life when all the years growing up, every step you made was to be clear of what you’d want in your life. I don’t want to sound like snooze-fest but I think this is what every member of the Gen-Z must feel at some point. We all want to grow up but we’re never ready for it.

But I believe it’s going to be a tremendous journey. I know myself and I am unambiguous about what I want in my life. Assimilating through my work environment and my superiors are going to be my major priority and I think I can say for everyone who’s struggling right now that “this too shall pass”.